It can be difficult helping your friend pick out a new car
How to Help a Friend Pick Out a New Car and Stay Friends
Being a car enthusiast comes with many responsibilities. For example, your buddies might expect you to know what’s wrong with their ride when it doesn’t run right. You also need to know how to help a friend pick out a car.
It’s an age old request. And everyone can struggle with that from time to time, even us enthusiasts. As the guy who’s the “vehicle expert,” your friends might turn to you for sage advice on what car they should buy next.
The Problem
What’s the big deal with people asking you for advice on what car to buy? After all, it’s a good thing if your hobby benefits friends and family, right?
Some hidden pitfalls can exist in this situation. I’ve had quite a few people come to me for advice on what car to purchase. The experiences have taught me much.
I used to think that when people came to me for feedback on what car they should buy, they were asking for a completely original recommendation. Over time, I’ve realized most people don’t care about your crazy car fetishes.
Some people really do want to hear what you think, no matter what that may be. Those individuals are rare. Far more common are people who want you to confirm their decision to buy a certain car. Usually they don’t tell you what that car is.
For whatever set of reasons, they’re convinced that a specific vehicle is the best on the market, bar none. If you fail to confirm their bias, they might be mad at you. They might think you don’t really know that much about cars. They might even question how well you know them.
This problem is a sticky one, because you must proceed with caution. I’m not saying you can’t give car shopping advice to anyone. What I am saying is you need to go about it a certain way. Not only will the following approach help with people who want you to read their mind, it yields better results in general. You’re not telling anyone what to buy, but instead guiding them through the selection process.
No One-Size-Fits-All
Too often, people in general think vehicle suggestions are a one-size-fits-all sort of a thing. This is how you get entire neighborhoods where everybody drives one of five different car models.
This point was driven home recently when a friend of mind took to Facebook for suggestions on what vehicle to buy. Don’t ever do that, because pretty much each person said, “I drive a ___, so you should get one, they’re the best.” Just because they loved their Prius, Pilot or Traverse, it was the one true car for everyone. Amen. End of story.
That’s an egocentric way of looking at the world.
The longer I work in the automotive industry, the more I come to appreciate the strength of its diversity. Not everyone should drive the same types of cars. Conformity is boring. So let’s stop trying to promote it by telling our buddies to all buy the same vehicle.
Listen, Listen, Listen
That brings me to the next point: you need to ask some questions, then actually listen. Instead of being like people who automatically suggest what they drive, you need to understand the other person’s needs, capacities and wants.
One of the most important questions is to ask what a vehicle will be used for. If it’s just a commuter, fuel economy and ease of parking are usually top concerns. If it’s a family vehicle, space and safety are big. Vehicles that are purchased for fun should be attractive and entertaining to drive.
You also should know who’s going to be using the vehicle. If my friend’s 16-year-old son is the one driving it, I’m going to suggest something that isn’t too fast.
How many people will be riding in the car on a regular basis is a huge factor, too. Five or more people could mean a three-row vehicle is best. If a person has large dogs, a decent cargo area could be helpful.
Understanding what kind of experience someone likes to have from behind the wheel is also important. The challenge with this one is most people can’t articulate their preferences. They don’t have the vocabulary or even the awareness to tell you what kind of handling, throttle response or torque curve they like.
Instead, ask the person what other cars they like driving, and why, then listen. This will cue you in on what they might prefer.
Admit Your Faults
Nobody knows everything about cars. Your friends and family might think you do, but you don’t. To best help with the vehicle search, you must admit this.
If you’re big into sports cars, and your friend really wants or needs an SUV, don’t try to talk him into buying a sports car just because that’s what you know. To genuinely help, use your knowledge to help research SUV options. This requires an open mind.
If you can’t do this, just tell your friend you don’t know enough about what they need to give an informed opinion. Direct them to resources that can help, and offer to be supportive with what you can do.
The Final Decision
Realize that in the end your friend or family member might not follow your advice. Try to not be offended. While it’s nice to give input on what someone should buy, the final decision is theirs to make. After all, you’re not paying for the car.
If your friend has problems with the vehicle they bought, and they didn’t follow your advice, don’t hang it over their head. Be a real friend and offer genuine advice again if they ask for it, like how to quickly sell a car. After all, no friendship is worth fighting over what car anyone buys.
